Ever Since

Ever since I was a kid I've been pushed and yelled at All my life. I guess that instilled in me The ability of not being able To...

Ever since I was a kid
I've been pushed and yelled at
All my life.
I guess that instilled in me
The ability of not being able
To stand up for myself

I've been bullied by those I don't know
I always try to defend myself
But my words always seem to get stuck
In my tiny throat.
I've been yelled at for things I didn't do
Even the notable things I've done got no praises. I was still insulted

I try every single day
To be a new person
To always express myself
To never let their words get the best of me
Deep down, I know I'm lying
Because I always seem to break down in my room the next day

I wonder why they don't like me
The sneers and jeers have been pointed my very way
I try so hard to please them
So much so that I turned into a butt kisser
I started worshipping and praising them
For things I know I'm better at

I wonder when I'm going to change
When I'm going to stand firmly to the ground
Not allowing their words to shake me
I really hope it is soon